# The 3-Way Debate

*Mind, Heart, Gut: The 3-Way Conversation That Changed How I Think About Decisions*

By [Ankit's Pebble Jar](https://ipebbleyou.com) · 2025-03-01

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Between [HappyBoards](https://www.happyboards.com/), health, dating, running, salsa, reading, spirituality, learning, and investing — I have a lot on my plate. And honestly? It’s exhausting.

That constant feeling of having so much to do but nothing getting done? Frustrating.

Which leads to procrastination.

My go-to technique? _“I’ll do it this weekend.”  
_Then the weekend comes, and I say, _“I’ll do it during the week.”  
_Repeat. Endlessly.

And truthfully? I don’t want to “work” on weekends. I just want a few hours of deep focus on something I actually care about.

I carried all these frustrations with me on a recent trip to San Francisco, where I met up with [David Shen](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dwshen/), a longtime friend and now a life coach.

I needed something — a framework, validation, structure, ideas — **ANYTHING** to help me break this cycle and get out of my own head. And Dave shared something that stuck:

👉 Make decisions with your mind, heart, and gut.

So we ran through my dilemma: Too many interests. Too many priorities. And then? We talked out loud about what each part of me had to say. The conversation went something like this...

🧠 Mind: “You got this. Just put it on your calendar, AI to the rescue — we can totally do it.”  
❤ Heart: “Yes, I agree and believe in you.”  
👋 Dave interrupts: _Would your heart really say that?_

💡 _(Ah, my heart is lying to me. Let’s see what my gut says.)_

💭 Gut: “There’s not enough time. Go deep instead of spreading yourself too thin.”  
🧠 Mind: “That’s just time management. I can optimize. If I structure my days better, I can fit everything in.”  
💭 Gut: “If that were true, wouldn’t you have done it already?”  
❤ Heart: “Yes, prioritize — really prioritize — so life doesn’t feel like a blur.”

🧠 Mind: “But I _like_ variety. I want to keep exploring new things.”  
💭 Gut: “Then stop feeling overwhelmed when you don’t make meaningful progress.”  
🧠 Mind: “That’s not fair. I _do_ make progress — just not as fast as I want.”  
❤ Heart: “For example, you love HappyBoards and its mission — it gives you joy. The other things on your list matter too, but what if you created more dedicated time instead of constantly context-switching?”  
🧠 Mind: _Fine._ I care about the journey, too. _Let’s go through the list and actually prioritize._

And just like that, I had clarity.  
  
Well… _sort of._ Let’s be real, my mind is stubborn — it took a while to get there. But this 3-way conversation with myself turned out to be a helpful way to figure out situations. And, you can apply it to almost anything.

✅ Interested in dating someone? Have a conversation with yourself:  
  
**Mind:** “Do we align on values and long-term goals?”  
**Heart:** “How do I _feel_ when I’m with them?”  
**Gut:** “Does this _really_ feel right, or am I ignoring red flags?”

✅ Thinking about moving?  
  
**Mind:** “Is this a smart financial and career move?”  
**Heart:** “Will I actually enjoy living there and feel at home?”  
**Gut:** “Something feels off… am I moving _toward_ something or just running _away_?”  
  
✅ Changing a habit (like waking up earlier)?  
  
**Mind:** “This will make me more productive and improve my health.”  
**Heart:** “I _want_ to be that person who enjoys early mornings.”  
**Gut:** “Hmm… will I actually stick with it, or am I forcing something that doesn’t work for me?”

When all three align, you know you’re on the right path. And when they don’t? That’s a sign you need to dig deeper.  
  
Have a question or struggling with an open ended question? Have a chat with yourself. 

I Pebble You,  
Ankit

​_"I Pebble You" is a heartfelt collection of thoughtful moments — articles, memes, videos, and insights —that spark joy and connection. Inspired by how penguins gift pebbles to their loved ones, it’s a space to pause, reflect, and share. Subscribe to receive these meaningful pebbles in your inbox, and add your own to help build something bigger — because together, we create more thoughtful connections._  
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*Originally published on [Ankit's Pebble Jar](https://ipebbleyou.com/the-3-way-debate)*